I don’t believe, I’m sorry
I don’t believe it’s true
There’s no afterlife for me and you
After we’re gone, we’re through
They made up stories to get their own way
Like shepherds sing to sheep they told us tall tales
Preoccupied our minds and occupied our lands
Had us marching to the beat of their hypnotic bands
If there’s a God he’s mean, it’s better not to believe
Have faith in freedom, justice and harmony
We sacrifice this life dreaming of heaven
They deceive us and we let them
There’s an obligation to the next generation
To believe in a united nation
United freedom, united cause
Achieved by all through unchained thought
…
I wrote this poem in 2007, shortly before moving to Syria. The poem suggests that I’m an ardent atheist, but was actually motivated by my disbelief in people (at the time) rather than in a god. I was furious and frustrated by an oppressed people who continued to say “alhamdillah” (thank God) and “noshkorallah aala kol hal” (thank God for every circumstance) when their lives seemed so controlled and limiting to me. Having lived among them, learned from their wisdom and enjoyed their nurture, I now see in these beautiful phrases a healing acceptance rather than a cowardly surrender.
I created and erected this installation in Beirut in 2019. The text reads “Until when will they continue to gamble on us while the people remain as sheep.” The city was still in mourning after the port explosion. The country was still suffering the consequences of a bloody protracted civil war that officially ended almost thirty years prior but was felt in every household in the country, except those of the elite and powerful.